Cialis® & Other Medical Miracles

Hallelujah! I just discovered a miracle drug: Cialis®. What makes it miraculous isn’t that it supposedly does wonders for a man’s down under, though I realize that IS a spectacular selling point. Nope; the true miracle was revealed to me in a vision, i.e., the Cialis® TV ad.

In this vision, a man carries an overfull laundry basket down to the basement laundry room, catches the glance of his grateful woman and…TA-DAH! Suddenly, the background music changes to “mood music” as their gaze deepens, turning to one full of as much lust as can get past a TV censor, and that boring basement laundry room morphs into a tropical paradise. (True, all true! Even I couldn’t make this crap up.) IT’S A MIRACLE!!! Where do I line up for a drug that can instantly turn my laundry room into a romantic beach setting, complete with mood lighting and – miracle of all miracles – no discernable evidence of bugs or other creepy-crawlies?

I ran to my hubby in ecstatic glee, crowing about my incredible discovery. I jabbered to him semi-coherently about laundry, drugs & tropical drinks, ending with, “So Baby, you just sashay your ass on over to the doctor’s office for a year’s supply of this stuff. I don’t care whether it’s covered by insurance, I don’t care what it costs – it’s worth every penny!” Imagine my disappointment – nay, my utter heartbreak – when he just sat there looking at me as though I’d lost my mind, then rolled his eyes & went back to whatever lame-ass thing he’d been checking out on his computer.

Men – can’t live with ‘em, can’t neuter ‘em. (But then actually needing Cialis® would be the least of their worries, right?)

But I don’t want to end on such a deflated (tee-hee) & cranky note, so here’s another medical miracle I’ve discovered, courtesy of my gal-pal Jen who got it who-knows-where on the web. I believe this substance, if used properly and responsibly, would greatly improve everyone’s laundry day – no prescription necessary. Cheers!

Important Women's Health Issue:
* Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
* Do you suffer from shyness?
* Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?
* Do you suffer exhaustion from the day to day grind?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately, and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS: Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
- Dizziness
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Incarceration
- Erotic lustfulness
- Loss of motor control
- Loss of bladder control
- Loss of clothing
- Loss of money
- Loss of virginity
- Table dancing
- Headache
- Dehydration
- Dry mouth
- A desire to sing Karaoke

YET MORE DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing (a problem during the aforementioned Karaoke).
* The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

Please share this, and the following, with other women who may need Margaritas.