In Pursuit of Fitness: Truly Hot Yoga

I was in procrastination mode (a personal fave), mindlessly watching one of my girlie-cats perform her fastidious grooming ritual, which always includes her hiking up one of her hind legs (let’s just say she gets clean all over) in what the kids & I call the kitty yoga pose. My dirty li’l mind started off on a tangent – if I could perform the kitty yoga pose and all its related activities, would I ever leave the house? Could be really good to be a cat.



Said dirty mind then sauntered on over to the subjects of yoga and my own fledgling physical fitness regimen, and *DING* a connection was made, a fascinating hypothesis developed: Would people – especially males – be substantially more interested in doing yoga if that “industry” launched a marketing blitz that pointed out the similarities between yoga stances and boink positions? (Hm, hello, Kama Sutra?)

Downward Dog is the obvious first choice, just by virtue of the name (duh). Bark like a dog, baby – pant, pant. (I must confess, the last time I tried yoga, I was panting...and huffing & puffing. There was nothing remotely sexy about it.) Wouldn’t it be nice to learn how to get your yoga sweat on and end up with an afterglow that had absolutely nothing to do with yoga principles? Betcha I’d be a little more apt to stay the course, given a few favorable outcomes. Heh.

Stick with me here, fellow flexibility fiends.

Properly promoted, would the Warrior pose make your mate wanna get all conquistador-sexy with ya? Could assuming the Tree position give someone of the male persuasion *whispers* wood? Would it help if it were performed in the great outdoors? Or maybe nekkers? (I’d suggest a combination, but with my luck, I’d end up all “Baby, pass the wine and the calamine. Damned poison ivy – or was it poison oak?” Ivy or oak, wouldn’t matter which as I tried not to scratch ‘cuz, as Mama says with absolute certainty, it’ll get infected.)

Despite the possible itch glitch, I think I’m onto something. With a few modifications, the Plank position could be performed as a duet, rather than a solo – you know, improve your core strength while being thrilled to the core. Holy hot flashes – where do I sign up?! Use your own imagination and get creative, happy and healthy while having a blast and battling the bulge. Namaste, y'all!
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(Safety note: The DOB suspects that the slightly tacky-to-the-touch yoga mat could create friction issues, so if you catch a whiff of burning rubber, you’d better slooooooow down and practice safe...yoga.)